As I was reading over some of these first few posts, it dawned on me that many men will read these and not have any way of understanding what I am proposing that they really do. Many of you will have no frame of reference where to check what I am saying against their personal experience or personal knowledge. For many of you, you have never seen a man demonstrate this type of love to his wife, this type of commitment. What you no doubt have seen is myriad broken homes, broken relationships, hurting men, hurting woman. But most importantly, notice that where you have seen these hurting people and families, you have not witnessed men doing what is right, what is needed.
I think about the bravery of men and woman at war right now. The courage that they show everyday. And I remember what a man once told me, “courage is not the absence of fear, it is the recognition of fear and choosing to do what is right, what is needed in spite of the fear.” How would anyone be considered courageous if they had not acted when others recognized a fearful situation. That is what I am asking of all you men. To be courageous. To accept the fact that you may be fearful of trying to act in a way that is new, in a way that is foreign, in a way that makes you unique, but do it anyway. Even more, I am asking you to do all of this not having your own historical evidence that it will work. That there will be any change in your relationship. Or that your wife or girlfriend will accept this new you. That they will believe you have really changed. Or that you are doing this because you love them. That you are in love with them. That you want this to work. That you want a healthy relationship where you are both strong and thriving.
And even if you are one of those men who can’t say that he is in love with his wife, remember, love is not a feeling, it is an action. Love is a verb. Love is what you do, not how you feel. If love was a feeling we have in our stomach, how would we know the difference between the feeling of love and some bad spaghetti. Again, if this is you, I am asking you to do it anyway. Choose to rebuild your relationship. Choose to encourage your wife. Choose to be a man. Choose to be the reason that your family stays together. And after you make that choice, don’t settle for the bare minimum. Don’t settle for getting by. Wake up everyday and do what’s right. Put the time in to this. Put your best efforts here.
I guess what I’m saying is this really will be a great journey if we do it together. Every day I have to recommit to this way of living. But it is worth it. I see it in my wife. I see it in my kids. They may have to live in a world of doubt, but they don’t have to live in home of doubt. I think I may have said it best in the title. You may not get everything I am sharing with you. You may not understand it at all. That makes sense to me since very few of us have watched men act like men in this manner in our presence. But even if you don’t get it or understand it. Even if you are scared out of your mind to risk it. Do it anyway. Just DO IT. I will guarantee you that it won’t hurt anyone or anything and it just might be all you need to save your family.