Focused attention

I just read a comment left by fellow blogger Jocelyn Storm. She had quoted Rick Warren saying, “The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It is focused attention.” He had so succinctly summed up what this blog is all about. Focused attention. Not that diamonds or roses or chocolate are not important. They really are. They play an important part of showing your love and devotion. But even those are part of an overall focused attention on the girl that stole your heart.

Everything I write here is about focused attention on your sweetheart. Taking the focus off of yourself and what you need and turning that focus onto the woman you love. Whether it be simply stopping what you are doing and listening intently to what is on her mind or making a list of the things that are important to her so that you can do them. It is focused attention. It is waking up everyday with intent. Don’t be that guy that just reacts to whatever happens. Focus your attention on her and be the man that makes it happen.

For me, it is texting Janine every time I think of her. Letting her know I am thinking of her. I don’t care where I am or what I am doing. I just do it. It is always having my ear open to hear her mention something she likes or wants and putting in a list I keep on my phone. Some of them are inexpensive and some are very expensive. I can do some of them on any given day and others I might have to wait years. Like the new house or the BMW. It is walking into the house at the end of the day, no matter how tired I am, seeking her out, and kissing her and telling her I have missed her. I am focused on what she needs from me. And it is my pleasure. It isn’t work. I committed my life to her. How could I give her anything short of my focused attention.

I hope each of you really take this to heart. It is the meat of what it means to be a great husband. This is where the rubber meets the road. If you give your focused attention to your lady she will know she is loved. And in the safety of knowing that she is loved, she can be the best woman she can be.


13 Responses to Focused attention

  1. Marsha says:

    Really enjoyed this post and have scanned other posts I will read after this holiday weekend. You are bookmarked now!

  2. airtouch1603 says:

    Focusing attention to your special somebody is very important. But that also has to apply the other way around. In my article that you read, I had to make sure that she listened to me and my ideas (of where this relationship was going).
    Even though we broke up, I am glad that I did have my say. I am glad that I did have some part in the relationship where she atleast thought about it. But I do agree on this article as a whole, although placing attention is a mutual thing.

    • Ken Kendall says:

      I totally agree. You did the right thing. I was speaking in a general sense that men typically don’t take the time to give focused attention to their wives and girlfriends. And for most of us when we do, we get the same respect back in spades.

      Thanks airtouch

  3. Teri says:

    My husband and I went through a difficult patch a few years ago. I felt he wasn’t loving me and he felt I wasn’t respecting him. God taught me to give my husband what he most needed and trust Him (God) to provide my need for love. I didn’t know it, but at the same time, God was teaching my husband to give me what I most needed and trust Him to provide his need for respect. We both laid down our own needs and gave to the other. Our marriage strengthened. Now I feel loved, and my husband feels respected and we have a wonderful marriage.

    Taking the focus off ourselves and onto the other is essential.

    Good post, Ken!

    • Ken Kendall says:

      I think it is so easy to get lazy on our part and demanding of their part. I know I have done that so many times. When we humble ourselves to meet our spouses need, and let God meet our needs, He will provide. And I don’t know about how other people feel, but it makes me feel good to be of service, to meet my wife’s needs. I dare say, that it most cases, it feels even better than getting my own needs met.

      Thanks Teri,

  4. romancingthestone says:

    Lovely Ken! Thanks for sharing and I appreciate that you visited my blog this weekend as well !!!! Wishing you love and joy. M

  5. warkitteh says:

    You’re right. This is key to a relationship that grows. And having it go both ways, to focus on each other is critical. I have been married for over 12 years and have seen the damage that being self centered can do… but we have come a long way from that in just the last year alone. I credit God for this progress!

    This may sound stupid… but this morning, we had one bagel left and my wife said that I could have it. I remembered your post, prepared and turned it over to her… Then she wanted me to sit down and read something and I did it without delay… lol.

    Thanks for your post!

    • Ken Kendall says:

      That is fantastic. What a pleasure it is to be selfless. Thank you for your comment. I hope you will keep coming back. Also, tell me if you disagree with anything or want me to cover anything in particular. I love specific questions as well.

  6. theblueaquarian says:

    Hey there. Nice blog. will be reading all the posts as soon as i get a break from Office work.
    Take care.

    • Ken Kendall says:

      That would be great. I welcome your thoughts. I would love to hear if there are any specific topics you would like me to cover.

  7. jocelynstorm says:

    Very well put. Thank you.

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