Carl W. Buechner was quoted saying, “They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” With one exception this is so true. Unless what you said makes them feel bad. Unless it make them feel stupid, embarrassed, humiliated, ashamed or frightened.
As men,we have this uncanny ability to shoot our mouths off without any consideration to what damage it could do to our wives. This is terrible. And as bad as it is, this is nothing compared to when we say something that is hurtful, or degrading, or condescending with the full intent of our words damaging the ones we love.
For most of us, it is because we are embarrassed by something we did or said and want the attention taken away from ourselves. We attack the woman we love rather than accepting responsibility for our own actions. Than we further disgrace ourselves by doing something else that is horrific. Why? Because of pride. We don’t have the humility that our wife needs. Because of insecurity. We are too insecure to accept and acknowledge our own inadequacies. Stop it. Humble yourself. When you make a mistake. Let it end there. Don’t perpetuate it with more acts of bad behavior.
Getting back to the original quote. The thing that struck me the most was the wisdom about how we can change the lives of the women we love by how we make them feel. Think about how much it would help your wife if you encouraged her rather than discouraged her. Look at where she puts her greatest efforts and compliment her. Build her up. Let her know that you are aware of what she is doing and that you are proud of her. Imagine the strength she will draw from your kindness.
Make her feel safe and secure in your relationship. Don’t be a part of anything that might leave her in doubt of your actions. Give her the confidence of knowing that she is loved. That her husband is living a life that is above reproach. That when you are away she can rest assured that your only thoughts or distractions are her. As she experiences that confidence she can be the best woman she can be rather than a broken worrying wife.
Make her feel beautiful. Tell her she is pretty. Tell her specifically what you see that is beautiful. Her hair, or her eyes, or her smile or all of the above. Tell her the the things you see her do that make her even more beautiful. Her kindness, her gentleness, her compassion, her inner strength. As you study these qualities in your sweetheart, she will become more attractive to you everyday.
Don’t miss the opportunity to change her life. To leave her with a feeling of contentment in every encounter. When you do this she will forget, and forgive the stupid things you do. They all do. They want to see the best in us. Let’s give them the opportunity to forgive us because we try so hard. You will make her feel good. You will leave her with the best feeling about herself. You will have loved. And she will remember it!