Saying I love you


For much of my life I had distorted the meaning of “I love you” from an expression of my sincerest and deepest feelings to a salutation. Whenever I was on the phone and wanted to get off, I would say “I love you.” I didn’t mean I love you, I meant goodbye. I am bored or distracted or have something else I would rather be doing and I am done with this conversation. Saying I love you was just a way to say goodbye, I gotta go. But it was so insincere. I was really being a jerk and wrapping it up all pretty to make myself feel good.

You can say these words 50 times a day and mean them sincerely every time you say them. And you can say them other times and have no heart or feeling behind them at all. Don’t say it if you are not really trying to express how you feel. Don’t say it because it’s what you are supposed to say. Don’t say it to fill an awkward moment. Don’t minimize the importance of these life changing words.

But even more importantly, when you do say them, think about what you are saying. Be sincere. When possible, stop the woman you love, look her in the eyes, take her in your arms, and say, “I LOVE YOU. I am in love with you.” Tell her what you love about her. Tell her the things she does that makes you love her. Tell her specifically, the things about her that are the most endearing.

Don’t let these words be just words. Let them be a small expression, a reminder of the love you show her everyday. Do all the loving things you can for her day by day and let these words be the hyperlink in her mind back to the way you show her you love her.

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9 Responses to Saying I love you

  1. jesskry says:

    Exactly! This is why I have trouble saying it at all! I’d rather say it and know I mean it and that the person gets it, rather than blurt it out as a programmed response or as punctuation.

    • Ken Kendall says:

      You are so right. No one feels good when it is said as a programmed response. You don’t feel better saying it and they don’t feel better hearing it. Everyone knows it is insincere.

  2. Rev. S. Mark Robinson says:

    Very good work! From what I read in your two latest posts, I would say you have a good grasp on how to love a woman (just keep in mind this is a guy saying this!). What you have written in these latest two posts is much like what I have told the men in my church. Again, good work. Blessings!

    • Ken Kendall says:

      Thanks for your comment. But you are right. At the end of the day, we are both guys and we only know how good our grasp on it is when we see our love reflected in our wife.

  3. alpinmack says:

    Good point. This blog is a great idea. I’m sure I’ll be referring back to it when I need a reminder on how to be a better husband. Thanks for checking out my blog as well. Cheers!

  4. Ken Kendall says:

    Thank you. I hope that many men will do the same.

  5. veritasexnihilo says:

    Ken,

    First off, I agree. That being said, I hear my mother speaking in my head. Part of the reason “I love you” arises as a “goodbye” is because you never know the last time you will see someone. So, because of life’s more dreadful turns you say “I love you” just in case it is your last time to say so. Perhaps especially when you don’t mean it. Because in existence outside of feelings you probably still do, but your current state might mask those true feelings.

    I do agree in the importance of holding those words dear though. I fault the limitations of our English language really. The Eskimos had how many words for snow? And we can’t think of two for this complex emotion? Cest la vie I suppose.

    It was great to stop by Ken, thanks for visiting mine, I’ll keep visiting yours.

    ~V

    • Ken Kendall says:

      Great point. I certainly don’t want men to stop saying I love you when parting, I just had made use of it instead of saying I had to end a phone conversation.

      Thank you so much for checking the blog out. Hope to see you again soon here and keep giving your input. It is truly valued.

  6. Nicola says:

    This was really good for me to read. My boyfriend does not tell me often that he loves me. Very rarely infact. I was quite upset about it but this was a great article to make me realise that when he does tell me he loves me he really means it. He is not an affectionate person and that is the way he is and most likely always will be but this article made me feel better about the way I had originally felt about it.

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