Be a man, not a guy.


You might have noticed that I often refer to doing the right thing and follow up with “Be a man.” That’s because there is such a dramatic difference between being a man and just being one of the guys or worse a boy. There are millions of guys in the world but I have found very few men. Being one of the guys is going to lunch with your coworkers and being right in the middle of trash talk, gossip and inappropriate stories and jokes. Being a man is doing the right thing because that is what men do.

You can easily recognize all the guys when you are with them. They are the ones who tell you what they told their wife about what she said or did. It usually sounds something like, “……and I told her that she better knock it off or I won’t put up with her c*@p anymore.” These are the same GUYS that you see heading anywhere but home at the end of the day. The truth about many of these guys is not only did they not say that to their wives, they likely didn’t say much of anything. They are barely present at all. I don’t mean they aren’t at the house. I mean they are not mentally and emotionally present.

One of the things I have found to be true about being male, is that no matter what we do to improve ourselves each day, we wake up the next day just another guy capable of being an idiot. We have to make a conscious decision every morning to be a man. To do the things that make us a man not a guy. And after a long day of trying to be a man, we go to sleep and wake up the next day just a guy. Make the decision to be a man every morning before you get out of bed.

Being a man is about commitment. It is taking seriously the vows you made to your wife. Go back and read or listen to what you committed to do on your wedding day. Make a list of those commitments and start living with directed purpose towards keeping those commitments. Ask your wife where you have missed the mark. Then start doing things that uphold your commitment.

Being a man is about integrity. It is knowing that the words you say have meaning. That you place a high standard on making sure your actions reflect consistently with the words you speak.

Living your life in a manner that your wife can trust that you will be committed to her and to your marriage will yield a great marriage. When you have a great marriage, you can be successful in every other area in your life. Our wives are not expecting perfection. They are only looking for us to be the man that they thought they were marrying. They are only looking for signs that we are doing better than our best. Striving to be great even when we fall a little short.

Don’t just be another guy. BE A MAN.

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2 Responses to Be a man, not a guy.

  1. Thanks for this blog. Women are truly looking for real men and not just one of the guys.

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