I have heard many wives talk about how much they hate to go to parties with their husbands. That they are often heartbreaking events rather than something that brings anticipation and fulfillment. The main complaint is that when they go to parties, as soon as they get there, their husbands vanish. They either disappear with a group of men to a TV or they seek out conversation with anybody other than their wives.
Now there is no reason that we have to spend every minute at an event with our spouse and only converse with them. And I don’t get the feeling that they want that either. But they do want to be with us. They do want to be a couple. They want to be seen with us, talk with us, laugh with us. Is that so bad?
When we spend all our time at parties, speaking with everyone else, it says to our wives that we value the thoughts and ideas of everyone else, more than we do of our spouse. I know that we can talk with them all the time but it is important to do that in front of others as well. It shows that we place a high value on our wives. That we enjoy their company. That we are glad to be with them.
When I go anywhere with my wife and we are with a group of people, I have a game plan. I make sure that we enter together. I stay with her while we go around and meet everyone and say hello. I stay by her side until she engages with someone else. I then will take some time to go and mingle with people I want to see or maybe haven’t spoken with for awhile. While doing this, I look for her often. I make sure she catches me looking at her. I make sure she sees me adoring her. I go back to her often and talk with her about who she was talking to or who I was talking to.
When we are in a group talking, I compliment my wife about things she does or says that are relevant. I make sure that everyone knows, especially Janine, that I am in love with her and glad to be with her. This may all sound contrived or too much like an agenda rather than me being myself. But that is not true. I just know myself well enough to know that when I don’t have a game plan, I don’t do as well. I try to have a game plan in so many other areas of my life as well. I do this because I want to achieve the desired result. I desire for my wife to feel loved, to feel needed, to feel valuable. I have to focus on this if I want to achieve it.
The next time you are going anywhere with your wife where you will be with a large group of people, think about how you will act when you get there. Have a game plan that focuses on your wife as well as the other people. She will appreciate your focus and attention. She will reward you with her attention and care for your needs as well. Now that’s what I call a win-win.