It’s funny how when we are dating we can be so obsessed with the object of our desire and as soon as we are married the obsession turns to apathy. When we fall in love, we call, we text, we send flowers, we do anything to spend time with the woman we covet. We forget about our friends and our other interests and focus solely on the amazingly interesting girl we are dating.
Time passes as we prove our love and we are able to finally cement the deal. We take this incredible woman we have given everything for and make her our wife. All is good and there are nothing but big dreams and happy days ahead. But then, very soon after, this woman who was amazingly interesting, and incredibly awesome, is somehow not worth turning our head from the TV for even during a commercial.
We remember how much fun the Nintendo Wii and our Xbox are. We spend hours playing video games without so much as a grunt in response to our wives attention. We reacquaint ourselves with our friends and their always consistent interest in football or golfing. Things are great for us. We are as happy as we could be. We have all of our interests back and even have a wife, somewhere.
If this sounds a little to familiar to you, it is time to refocus your attention on your wife. Make her your obsession. You don’t have to do it at the total exclusion of all your other interests. There is nothing healthy about that and it would get real boring, if not ridiculous if you did. I think you might drive her crazy as well. But you do have to make a conscious decision to make her a priority.
Take the time you need to watch a game. Take the time you need to hang out with the boys. It’s all good. But don’t waste your nights and weekends doing nothing. Don’t plant yourself in front of the TV or computer and ignore your wife. Ask her about her day. Cook dinner with her. Take her out for the evening. Focus on her needs and desires. Call her during the day and check on her. Text her and tell her you were thinking about her.
It is not hard to think about your wife throughout the day. It is not impossible to concentrate on the things that are important to her. It is not difficult to put your own desires aside sometimes and focus on her. But it is an effort that you have to take seriously. It is something that you will have to be mindful of. And if you put your thoughts into her, if you obsess over her, you will be responsible for making her feel loved and needed and desired. You will be responsible for making your marriage great. And that’s better than anything on TV anyways.