Why do we do all that we do?


I was recently talking with my son. He was telling me how he and a friend of his were talking about their dads. They both were wondering how it is that a father can put so much time and effort in to making a good living and then so freely give much of what he has  to the ones he loves.

I can only imagine that as young men, they were looking forward to a future time in their lives, when they too would have families to care for of their own. And with the experience they had to draw from, as single men, they only knew what it meant to take care of themselves. But it is in the taking care of ourselves that we learn to care for others.

It is only my experience and what I have been through in my own life that I can draw a conclusion as to why, as fathers, as husbands, we would pour ourselves out for our family. It is from that same need to care for ourselves that we do this. For their is no comfort in money. There is no comfort in business or professional success. These are merely a means to an end.

It is through our caring for our loved ones, through the meeting of their needs, helping them to be successful, that we have peace of mind. What father could enjoy any of the fruits of his labor if the ones he loved were not okay. Not cared for. What man could be fulfilled by things or money while his loved ones suffer.

As men we are driven to provide for our families. And that means to not only provide for them financially, but also emotionally and physically. To pour ourselves out to and for them. There is no great sacrifice in giving what we have to those we love. It is easy to give of ourselves to our wives and children when we desire peace of mind. When we desire and value the happiness that they have given to our lives, we give back in gratitude. It is in this giving that we become satisfied. Enjoying the results and effects of using our resources for the benefits of others rather than holding onto it for ourselves.

Let’s be honest. We have and do plenty for ourselves without much prompting. Let us all as men, make sure we are also generous to our family and to others in need. Giving and giving abundantly. Don’t hold onto things or money. Instead, hold onto the results of your generosity as it is made valuable in those you love.

For those of you who haven’t had a chance to read the wisdom that my son shares on his blog, take a look. He is quite an amazing young man.

I love you Zack.

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13 Responses to Why do we do all that we do?

  1. jodiq says:

    Hey good stuff here, Ken. Keep it up. Selfless giving…so like Christ for His Bride…beautiful!

    I’m following you on twitter…trust that is ok. 🙂 Will check in again…

    • Ken Kendall says:

      Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I appreciate you following me on twitter as well. I am still trying to learn to use that technology better.

  2. mayiwrite says:

    Your writing is beautiful. Nothing brings me more resolve and makes want to cheer more than a good father. And a good Father.

    • Ken Kendall says:

      Thank you for the compliment. I really appreciate it. I have never really put this much time into writing but I am really enjoying it.

      That aside, I love being a husband and love being a dad. I always have.

      The amazing thing about families is that I see so clearly, that no matter what I do for my kids, I cannot be a great mom. Our kids need moms and dads.

  3. marlajayne says:

    This reminds me of some of the comments I heard at church today that related to the emptiness that comes from the acquiring of possession after possession when your children and spouse are suffering from a lack of love and attention. Is there any success that can compensate for failure in the home? I doubt it.

    • Ken Kendall says:

      I have had all that money can buy, and I have been without enough money to cover my bills for the month, and in both instances, I have found happiness and joy in my family.

      Thank you for reading.

  4. jeremy says:

    Growing up from a boy, I always wondered when it was that I would cross over and become a man. It took a long time and one specific lesson. I met my partner and things progressed and he got ill. And I had to drop my own agenda and take care of him. It was in that act of putting the needs of another before my own that this boy became a Man.

    We must first give to God, then we must feed ourselves, because if we don’t we won’t have enough energy to give to another. Then thirdly, we can give to one another. Always remember that we have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of another.

    Lots of food for thought here.

    Jeremy

    • Ken Kendall says:

      Funny you would point that out Jeremy. I have a post going up this week that hits on this a little. I hope you will continue to come back and read often.

      Thanks Jeremy

  5. Thomas Kendall says:

    Son, you make your mom and dad very proud, Keep up the good work, your blog are getting better each day
    Love you

  6. teachmelife says:

    I am pleased that my Ken (My Dad) took the time to accept my request to speak on a topic I was thinking about. I have always wondered why my dad was able to give so freely to me, my brother and sisters. Now at the very least I can find comfort in the simple fact that it brought him joy to help me find joy. It brought him happiness to help me find happiness.

    I am thankful for the family I have and the endless generosities they provide me.

    Ken (My Dad) will be providing a guest post on my own blog this week. I’m sure he will let you know when.

    In addition, this week I am dedicating my posts to letting others know more about my family and tomorrow I will be posting on Ken (My Dad). So please come over and enjoy getting to know Ken from another perspective.

    http://www.teachmelife.wordpress.com

  7. musingsofastrongblackwoman says:

    Ken,

    Your writing is so positive, yet challenging. Thank you for being so selfless and encouraging others to be so, not just men with their wives but all of us with our entire families. Keep up the great work!

    Rhonda
    http://musingsofastrongblackwoman.wordpress.com

    • Ken Kendall says:

      Thank you strong. You are so right. These are not things that are limited to men in the role of husband. These are valuable lesson we can all use in every area of our lives.

      Sorry it took me so long to respond. I hope you will keep coming back.

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