Chocolate. Now that’s love.

I don’t know anyone that would argue the point that love is being loyal. Or that love is being honest. Or that love is being committed and faithful. But sometimes all our wives need is a thoughtful box of chocolates to reaffirm how much they mean to us.

Charles M. Schulz opined a great truth about love saying, “All we need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” I think it might have been better said as, “All we need is love. And a little chocolate now and then proves that we do.”

It seems so easy for me to write about deep and thought provoking ideas when describing ways to love your wife. But I never want to diminish or overlook that there are so many ways to say “I love you” that don’t even require great pondering or planing. It is not in the depth of our thoughts that we show our love but in the fact that we are thinking of our wives in any way.

Love is not complicated. But loving our wives becomes complicated when there are years of hurt, years of pain, years of strife that cover our ability to see clearly. To see that the woman we share our home with today, the woman that we share our bed with today, the woman that we argued with today, is in fact the same woman that we fell in love with and married. Over time, we begin to believe that this woman is not a person at all but more a personification of the problems in our life. A personification of the painful words she might have said or things she might have done.

Starting today, set down the past hurts. Remember what you loved about her when your relationship started and grew. Make a list of all the things that you once admired and adored in your wife. Focus on that list and be thankful for your wife and those qualities in her. Look for those again in her. Then go and buy her a box of chocolates and tell her you love her.


10 Responses to Chocolate. Now that’s love.

  1. hannahnow says:

    Excellent Advice! Yes, people forget too easily why they married there wife or husbad, and how much they loved them in the beginning. I totally agree with the chocolate, and most women would! Have a Blessed Day!


    • Ken Kendall says:

      Thanks Hannah. When that hit me I couldn’t remember anyone ever saying it. Hey, change the way you look at your wife. You once thought she was the best thing since sliced bread. Get back to it.

  2. Ken: Terrific perspective; and so easy for this to happen in our intimate relationships. It is so much easier to have our beloveds be our sounding boards, and those that get the brunt of our ills, rather than that which led us together in the first place.

    Revisit the magic often and fully. Sometimes, that is chocolate, which always has its place.

    • Ken Kendall says:

      That’s it. Revisit the magic. I think that is why I like to write lists about things like this. Why I love Janine so much. If I ever doubt, I still have the list of my feelings and thoughts towards her to steer me back.

  3. Pam says:

    I love your ‘chocolate perspective’ Ken. And your entire blog! It is a delight to read such warmth, with such commitment, integrity……

    I’ll be back!
    Pam Babbitt, Editor

    • Ken Kendall says:

      Thanks Pam. I really hope that more and more men will get on my bandwagon. I am so lucky to have a great marriage and I know that every man would want it if he knew how to get it.

  4. clary says:

    This is so true, the image of the person before as the personification of what they have done to us. It is hard to remember the initial image but a good way to help us understand the reasons why we stay around. Hopefully things will get sweeter in time. Great post.

    • Ken Kendall says:

      Yes Clary. It is so easy to lose the person in the personification. And because it is such a slight difference we can easily miss that we have done this to the one we love.

  5. Hi Ken,
    What a great blog – it’s so nice to have a man be so candid about his feelings and thoughts. It’s like the saying goes “Happy Wife, Happy Life”!
    I also live and work in So Cal.
    Thanks for the good read!


    • Ken Kendall says:

      You are so right. I have to say I am very fortunate to have a wife who is pretty much always happy. Very forgiving and luckily very funny.

      I love when she apologizes for being grumpy because her apology is the first I know of her being grumpy. What she considers being grumpy anyone else would consider being a little less kind.

      I love her so much.

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