You will be the cause of happiness, one way or another.


Each of us has to make a decision. We have to take a stand in our home. Will we stand for peace? Will we stand for harmony? Will we stand for unity? Or will we just stand by and let our marriages and families deteriorate by our own neglect, or harshness, or unkindness.

Oscar Wilde was quoted saying, “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” It’s a sad fact but true nonetheless. We all just have to decide as husbands which one we will be. Will we cause happiness in our home through the way we act and live, or will we cause happiness when we leave because we brought heartache and pain to our family.

You don’t have to make a conscious decision on this one. If you don’t make any decision at all, that’s a decision. If you don’t decide that you are going to have a positive effect on the temperament and attitude of your home, than you most certainly will have a negative effect. But if you make the choice to be the cause of happiness in your home, your home and everyone in it will benefit and even start to mimick it.

I hope that each man who reads this truly understands that they are not only responsible but they are in the unique position of being able to bring happiness and joy into their marriage and family. Don’t believe for a minute that you are just an innocent bystander watching what is happening in your family. Make the decision to bring happiness with you wherever you go but especially into the place you live and love. Don’t let there ever be a day that your wife and family are happier when you go then when you stay right there with them.

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6 Responses to You will be the cause of happiness, one way or another.

    • Ken Kendall says:

      Thank you. This one was harder than most to write and I wasn’t sure I really hit my target. I appreciate your vote.

  1. Noah says:

    I caught your comment on the Exponent blog, but I write for another LDS themed blog targeted at Mormon youth. I got married young and am coming up on my fifth year. I believe you are right. Unfortunately, my inclination is to be a very bad husband. Nevertheless, I believe marriage is a contract among three parties: You, your spouse, and God. Once I came to that conclusion, I stopped dropping the D-word, and once I did that, I felt much more committed to my spouse. And (this should come as no surprise) once I did that, my marriage got a lot better. I believe a happy marriage has a lot to do with attitude and perspective. Changing how I feel has been the difference between night and day. Despite being such a bad husband (my father was a particularly bad role-model), by the grace of God I’m figuring things out and getting better all the time. I’m fully committed to my spouse and the ideal of marriage, and that has made a huge difference.

    • Ken Kendall says:

      Thank you so much Noah. I love your comment. We are all human and make big mistakes. All of us. But when we accept the fact that God ordained marriage and that He is an integral part of our marriage, we can start to accept His plan for our marriage rather than our own.

      So many men live without any real positive role model of father or husband but we can still change the patterns we witnessed and were born into. I applaud you and your commitment to be one of the men that says no more.

      Please keep coming back and let me know how you are doing.

  2. I agree, men have as much power and responsibility to bring happiness into their homes as women … Lovely post.

    • Ken Kendall says:

      Thank you IH. Unfortunately many men ignore their responsibility or just don’t care. I hope that through this blog I can help a few men change and take that responsibility.

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