I was reading a post on another blog this morning and was hit squarely between the eyes with something I have failed to mention here. That being, the best way to love your wife, to build your marriage, and to change your perspective is to be a beacon of gratitude.

In all the lists and ideas I have espoused here, I have failed to mention that being grateful is one of the easiest ways to show your wife how much you love her. For those of you who might feel they have nothing to be grateful for, or thankful about, let me remind you of some of the many things that you can be thankful for. This list will not be for you to check and see if she hit them all. It is merely a list that you might find a single thing you can appreciate.

Did your wife say I love you today?

Did she make a meal for you?

Did she make you laugh?

Did she go to work?

Did she stay home and care for your kids?

Did she do homework with your kids?

Did she go to the bank?

Did she go to the grocery store?

Did she do your laundry?

Did she pay some bills?

Did she buy a gift for someone from both of you?

Did she care for one of your relatives?

Did she make a bed or clean the house?

Did she give you grace?

Did she overlook something you did?

Did she help avoid an argument?

Did she care for your sick child?

Did she take one of your kids to the doctor?

Did she hug your kids?

Did she listen to you about your day?

Did she help your daughter mend her broken heart?

Did she take the kids to practice or a game?

Did she call you to see how your day was going?

Did she welcome you home?

These are not things that your wife should or has to do for you. If she did them, she did them out of love whether you realized it or not. I could write another hundred things that wives do everyday for their husbands without any gratitude. Without any recognition. Without as much as anyone even noticing.

Take some time everyday to tell your wife thank you. Tell her specifically what she did that you appreciate. Tell her you love her for all she does. Tell her your sorry for neglecting to show her your appreciation in the past. Be humble. Admit that you have been amiss in this area before but that you will not do that again.

In showing your gratitude, you will build her confidence. You will give value and purpose to all that she does. She will likely want to do more and more as she sees your appreciation. As you both do this in gratitude you will rebuild and strengthen your marriage. That’s a great return for very little investment.


10 Responses to Gratitude

  1. innerwife says:

    Ken, great point. Gratitude and appreciation goes a long way in marriage.


  2. brad says:

    I have learned in life that on hard days, IF I will take a few minutes and focus on what I am thankful for, rather than what is going wrong or what I lack, it changes everything! The same principle holds true in marriage: IF a man wants to change his perspective about what he feels the marriage lacks or what he believes isn’t right, he will change that perspective by focusing on those areas where he is thankful. Attitude and gratitude are always tied together. Ken, you gave a great list to get men thinking about issues for which they should/can be thankful everyday.

  3. Des says:

    So true. I’ve heard it said that if one negative thought comes into your head concerning your spouse, you are to think of 3 things that they do right. This is a great list for those occasions.

  4. jane says:

    I just stumbled across your blog. What wisdom!

  5. Stepalicious says:

    This is a beautiful post…and so true for both Husbands and Wives to remember. There are so many things that we do for each other, that often go without notice. It is so important to appreciate all we do for each other to make a solid life together. Thank you for such wonderful insight and thoughts…I will share this with my hubby!

    • Ken Kendall says:

      Thank you for the kind words Step.

      You make a great point that I usually skip, and that is that almost everything I write here would be good advice for both husbands and wives.

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