Know when to be quiet

There is an amazing phenomenon that seems to be universal with men, that is , we seem to miraculously have an opinion on everything, be convinced we are right about it all and have an unending need to let everyone else know. While I am not one to buy into the image of men being stupid, unneeded, or inept, that is so often portrayed on TV and in the movies, I do know that we at least occasionally give some good ammunition to build these stereotypes from.

When it comes to having to say something about everything your wife says or does, or in helping her correct her opinion that you are sure is somehow incorrect, I think it is best that we remember the old proverb, “Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.”

It is not that we need to keep our mouths shut in every situation. That is ridiculous. We need to be a wise counselor, a trusted adviser and a valued part of our marriage and family but it doesn’t have to be on every comment made or heard in our home. Our wives are very adept at handling most situations with our family, friends and neighbors and don’t need to be second guessed at every turn.

I know there has been many times my wife will recount some of the things that have happened throughout her day and I have quickly told her how she should have done it different or better. Often times, she wasn’t asking for my opinion or my analysis of her dealings but rather was just talking with me to share her life and be a part of mine. On many occasions, nothing I said would change what she did or more to the point, did it really need any changing. I was just sticking my opinion where it served no purpose. Unless making her feel stupid or inept was my purpose.

As I am trying to do, I hope that each of you will take the time to listen to your wives. Be a friend that she can talk to and tell things to. If she doesn’t ask for your opinion or for your advice on how to deal with something, keep it to yourself. You are not the hall monitor or the relationship police. If you are a trusted ear that she can talk to, she will tell you everything you need to know about her. And if you are trusted, she will listen to you when you have something to say to help her in any way.


2 Responses to Know when to be quiet

  1. You seem to be in fear that if you say the wrong thing, your wife will hand your head to you. In my world, I can say anything I want. If I am with some woman and she doesn’t like it, I point to the door and she can leave.

    • Ken Kendall says:

      Hi Zero,

      I don’t have any fear of saying anything to my wife. I am sure that my wife would listen to anything I have to say at any time. What I fear is that I will damage someone with what I say rather than strengthen them and lead them to be better.

      Everything I write about has nothing to do with being fearful. It is all about leading, teaching, and inspiring men to be great. It is also about men making their homes a safe place for a wife to excel, to grow, for kids to grow and become great people too.

      I am not sure why that is so offensive to you but at least have an open mind. I may not ever convince you that I am correct, nor am I trying to, but I am trying to converse with you to better understand your thoughts and opinions. I hope you are doing the same.


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