Fear of failure

I think one of the greatest things standing in the way of successful marriages is the fear of failure. So many of us are afraid of putting forth new effort in our marriages because of the history of failure we have experienced already. We are so focused on what hasn’t worked that we fail to see what can work.

I have heard it said that in order to succeed, your desire for success MUST be greater than your fear of failure. Isn’t that what we all want? Don’t we all desire to have a successful marriages? Isn’t that why we married in the first place? And what is there to fear in working on our marriage? Why would we be afraid that if we put forth the effort we will fail?

What situation is really made worse when we try our best? Yes, sometimes our best efforts will not bring the total result we hoped for but it certainly won’t make it worse. If we make a commitment to be patient with our wives, if we make a commitment to be considerate of our wives, if we make a commitment to encourage our wives and show them love and adoration, will it not yield something good?

I think we are often more afraid that we will not be able to keep our commitment than we are afraid that total commitment won’t produce results. That is the fear that binds us. It is our own failure we fear rather than the fear that our marriage won’t survive.

Don’t be bound by the fear of your own inadequacies. Don’t fail to try. Be the spark that reignites your relationship. Do the things that will change the outcome of your marriage. Desire success. Make that desire your focus. Elevate your desire to a level that exceeds any fear you have and success will be yours.


5 Responses to Fear of failure

  1. fenomenalwoman says:

    This is really true, however I also learned that instead of being afraid because of past experiences, I try a different approach. Example instead of telling my husband to take the trash out, I ask if he would mind taking the trash out when he has a minute. Trust me, it helps!

  2. caliblue says:

    one of the reasons for marriage to fail is certainly the fear of failure..but that also goes for any relationship. i am married without being married. let me explain. my fiance is currently out of country and unfortunately, it has taken more time than either of us wanted for him to return. family issues but mostly business ventures that needed more babysitting and selling off. anyway, we have never had a fear of failure even though many around us have been negative. we have communicated often and well most of the time. we have made every effort to maintain the relationship real. we both feel married even if at the moment, legally, we are not. marriage is not just the paper but it is the committment of the heart and mind.
    i enjoyed your blog and will be reading more.

  3. I think you hit a very important part in your last paragraph that you should expand on a little further. The fear of our own inadequacies is a detrimental part of any relationship. And I wouldn’t really classify it as low self esteem, but merely the inability to accept that someone is being 100% genuine with you and trusting that person to meet your needs. This could be a very good topic to cover in a future blog so I won’t say anything more on it.
    For Caliblue, you and your fiance should be people that your friends are looking to as examples of good relationships if you can see passed the miles and still work together as a team. You’re right. Marriages aren’t about rings or paperwork. It’s about building a lasting relationship with each other and with God. Congratulations and I wish you the best!

  4. Here’s to thinking positively! In any situation, not just relationships, if you think you are going to fail 9 times out of 10 you will. I hope people read this post and resolve to put that fear out of their minds … great post btw 🙂

    — Jenn

  5. Nikki Hahn says:

    The secret to marriage–listening skills, patience, enduring love, and putting Christ first in your marriage together. A couple that prays together stays together.

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