Be different.

October 27, 2009

I think one of the things that has the most detrimental effects on men in their desire to be better husbands is the fear of being different. It is so common in our culture to see men talk badly of their wives, to see men demean their wives by the things they say when with other men, and to even see men ignore their commitments and responsibilities to their wives. In light of that, it takes a man of great character to be different. To be a voice for commitment. To be an example of a loving and devoted husband.

Suzanne Gordon pointed out the reality of this when she said, “To be alone is to be different, to be different is to be alone.” We have to realize that just because a road is less traveled, does not make it any less the right road to follow. If we choose to follow the crowd in everything we do, we will only find ourselves often lost along with a large group of people.

There is no doubt that it takes great effort to do what is right when so many are doing something else. It takes a man of courage to stand against the masses. To stand for what is true and good.

When we make the commitment to marry the women we love, we stand-alone, hand-in-hand with our bride to be, and promise to honor, cherish, love, care for, and protect her. The masses don’t stand beside us and join in. We choose this path alone, yes with support from family and friends, but the commitment is not made conditional to that support. Therefore, we must continue to do these things whether anyone else agrees or supports us in our efforts.

Take the time to find your wedding video or any other source that would remind you of exactly what you committed to do for your wife. Write it down and put it somewhere that you will see it and read it everyday. Then direct your actions to fulfilling those commitments regardless of what anyone else says or does. And keep yourself clear from anything or anybody that promotes behavior that contradicts your promises to your bride. In doing so, you will likely be different, but you might also find the greatest difference is your happiness.


Some additional housekeeping

October 23, 2009

Yesterday I mentioned that some of you readers had concerns about the delivery of my suggestions being directed only to men. I hope that I was able to clean that up a little. Today I want to share one more issue that has come up that some people find offensive. That being that I am a Christian.

It seems hard for me to fathom that my belief in Christ and who He claims to be would be so offensive to anybody, yet I know that it is. I hope I might be able to give some of you a different view of what it means to be a Christian. For it is clear to me, that most people don’t have any complaints or objections to Jesus Christ, just an objection to the actions of those who claim to follow Him.

I understand that completely. I know that many people who lay claim to a Christian faith have been at the forefront of hypocrisy, judgmental-ism and hate. But that does not a Christian make. There is only one thing that can truly identify one as a Christian, that being that you believe that Jesus Christ is who He said He was and have accepted His gift of salvation for your soul. That’s it. Nothing else.

When asked what was the most important thing that someone could do as a follower of Christ, Jesus said to love God with all our hearts, souls and minds. The second most important thing He said was to love your neighbors as yourself. So that is what I do. I truly love God. I truly love my neighbors. My neighbors being anyone I come into contact with. This makes all of you my neighbors. And I love all of you.

I hope that above all, you will see here in the work I do, that I am just one man, who longs for a day where marriage and commitment will once again have the value they once did. I hope that every man and woman would care enough about themselves to be able to be kind and  considerate of every other person they have a relationship with. And finally I hope to continue to learn here, and everywhere else in my life, how to live a life that is wholly pleasing and clearly committed to the two things that Jesus said I should do. Love Him and love everyone else.